So I sometimes buy these little wheels of Petite Breakfast cheese. It’s got a very sharp flavor that I like. It’s also $9 for a tiny morsel and, you know, it’s a solid wheel of adulterated bovine baby juice, so it’s only for treat yourself situations.

Then I glanced over…

I’m not a fan of the aged bries and they’re not at all like the Petite Breakfast I usually get, but I am a sucker for Halloween branding. I had to get it per the requirement of the season.

Okay sure, it’s a small brie with ash on the outside? Which is apparently vegetable ash which I did not know was a thing.

But then…

What the hell.

They did it. Those crazy bastards actually did it.*

*Added some food coloring to make their brie orange.

Aesthetically, nailed it.

Flavor-wise, it’s that old-sock saveur that brie lovers enjoy. So I’ll stick to le Petite Breakfast because that’s my jam, but the point is we took the road less traveled by.

Maybe I needed Halloween crackers to properly spread it.

New Horror 2022 – Day 31

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“A Good Student” by Nuzo Onoh (2014)
“Bit by slow bit, his body started to disintegrate like fluffy flakes of white cotton.”

I read a story from this book every year, and they are always memorable. Onoh’s stories present such a unique cultural viewpoint that it provides new takes on stories of spirits and ghouls. Another reminder to get my head out of America’s and Western Europe’s ass.

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Dracula Daily – “October” by Bram Stoker & ed. Matt Kirkland (1897, 2021)
“The men were scared every time we turned our electric lamp on them, and fell on their knees and prayed.”

I’ve been reading Dracula Daily, well, daily since the beginning, and it ends next month. What a journey. I’d never read it before so I’ve definitely not had the typical reading experience. All the travel stuff this month reminds me most of playing the Fury of Dracula board game, zipping around Europe to hunt down the children of the night. As far as the reading, October was the most suspenseful month thus far as the protagonists chased Dracula out of London and pursued him into the east, then are forced to wait and see where he’ll turn up. I’m not actually sure how this is going to end since the 1992 movie adaptation has been all I knew about Dracula proper for a long time and it turns out is not too faithful to the actual novel written by Bram Stoker. And I suppose neither is this chronological reading, but at least this gets through the original text.

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“The End of All Things” by Natalie Leif & Elaine Well (2014)
“I’ll look at the lines myself.”

I wasn’t quite sure of the message here, and it’s probably a sign of a good story that I found it very compelling but wanted more. The ending evokes a sense of inevitable collapse beneath the weight of the world, that we are all inextricably linked to an entity we cannot escape.

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Darkstalkers 3 (aka Vampire Savior) dev. Capcom (1997)
“Let’s stick together until I’m full, shall we?”

Take Street Fighter and throw in supernatural and sci-fi horror figures, and that’s this game. Each of the 18 characters gets their own little arc and ending through the arcade mode, and while I’m sure most people are more interested in the multiplayer aspect, I always found the single player mode an interesting part of these fighting games. This is another instance in which I realize that while I never considered myself a horror fan when I was younger, I was absolutely in for monsters and the supernatural.

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Amer dir. Hélène Cattet & Bruno Forzani (2009)
"Can’t you see she’s hungry?”

This was a doozy and a strange movie to end the month. Hardly any dialogue and fairly interpretive, it’s also a sharp homage to giallo horror, which I’m not especially versed in. But part of the reason I take on these movie-a-day projects is to check out new works and be challenged, so I’m glad I did. The horror here is in confronting the self, staring inward into the abyss from which there is no escape.

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The Simpsons – "Treehouse of Horror XXXIII” (2022)
“If we want to escape with our delusions of being alive, we have to fight.”

I enjoyed this year’s Treehouse of Horror, even if it was fairly light on comedy. But the comedy in recent years can sometimes be full of some real groaners, so perhaps I just welcome an acceptance by the writers that jokes every other second isn’t their strong suit. The first two segments are straightforward retellings of The Babadook and Death Note (the latter also animated in anime style), but the third segment was especially meta and weird, even as a simple parody of Westworld. That clicked with me because it’s as meta as The Simpsons Game, which I’ve written about before from my perspective of working on the game. That introspective angle also makes it the darkest segment, asking the audience to examine pop culture today and the way we treat the characters in our favorite media.

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Bob’s Burgers – "Apple Gore-chard! (But Not Gory)” (2022)


“Everyone wants a piece of you. Sometimes as a sacrifice to the gods.”

This show’s dedication to producing a Halloween show every year is admirable. The episodes are always great, though in recent years they’ve moved away from Halloween itself as the central theme in favor of other spooky familial shenanigans. Louise’s exploration of the nature of popularity was a poignant thread.

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Castlevania – Seasons 3 & 4 (2020-2021)


“Thank you for my second life. I intend to use it well and make wonderful new dreams of it.“

I’d watched the first two seasons some time ago, and waited until the show was complete to catch the rest. While the arc of the first two seasons that were focused on Dracula felt complete, these latter two seasons were more of an extended epilogue, exploring these characters in the wake of defeating a great foe. As a result, there isn’t the same satisfying arc, just a series of interesting encounters and meditations on forming new lives and relationships. It feels like a short story anthology that follows the novel. Reflecting on it, I’d say it’s just the thing to round out the month, some breathy autumnal monologues punctuated by decadent battle sequences.

petitelappin:

This child who came to my house tonight is literally the funniest human being on the planet. She complimented me on having both lollipops and mini Three Musketeers available because “a lot of houses these days don’t give you a fruit flavor option.” She was very solemn about this.

Watching Trick ‘r Treat in a theater is cool, but watching Trick ‘r Treat in a D-box theater is the most ridiculous movie experience I’ve had in a while. It’s Trick ‘r Treat: The Ride.

Between that and yesterday’s viewing of It Follows I’ve had a fantastic Halloween.

Someone refuses to remodel this abandoned Michael Myers house that’s in the middle of absurdly high priced real estate.

Not pictured: the house down the street with the year-round werewolf statue by their front door.

dduane:

argyle4eva:

marta-bee:

teaboot:

stick-ball-equals-pain:

cipheramnesia:

horrendoushag:

nattousan:

memewhore:

THIS IS SO OVER THE TOP HELLO??? WHO ARE YOU???

supremely impressed by the fact that the pumpkins are actually lipsynced to the music

This is a good example of what my brain looks like inside.

IT GOES ON FOR TWO MINUTES??????

Screaming and crying and tearing out my hair because I will never go this hard

This is the blessed part about being a nerd with a day job. Truly, we’re only limited by our dreams.

Link to the original, by Magical Light Shows. From the YouTube description: “I made this show as a free event for the community and as fundraiser for the McHenry House, a local family shelter here in Tracy, California.“

The version on YouTube is a full 21 minutes long! It’s always worth looking up the original artists.

…WOW. 🙂