(948)

I subscribe to a few different TinyLetter writers, but I must confess that I don’t always read their letters. I often leave them Unread, that disturbing state in which each letter gets added to the digit beside the Unread section of my email account. I had (948) Unread emails this morning. With great regret, it was time to declare email bankruptcy and mark them all as Read.

I clicked on a few letters as I went along.

On February 28th, 2018, Jean writes, “Yes, my day was ruined. Who knew I’d feel so keen to see my gastroenterologist?”

Pierce recalls his run-in with a dog walker on April 13th of the same year: “‘But sure what can you do? The only alternative is to put a roof over the country.’ And he strides off into the clouds, and we descend out of them.”

That summer, Justin is thankful: “i’m thankful to remind myself of the reason that i started these notes, which is to remember things i appreciated or appreciate things i remember.”

Kid Pretentious shares my pessimism about government amid his latest music recommendations shortly before Thanksgiving: “These people consider life in Congress to be something of a chess match rather than a process by which our collective lives are decided, which is as troubling as you are probably thinking right now.”

Anaïs presents a list of stuff to remember at the start of 2019: “that being soft in this world is so hard but even just the attempt will keep you open to more than you can imagine.”

I receive a timely word from Chelsea about the difficulty of writing, as she reveals over the summer, “In writing A Certain Hunger, whose elevator pitch is ’Eat, Pray, Love meets American Psycho,’ I got my inspiration in wanting to eviscerate all the fuckboys I’d ever loved before, and I got my discipline from the knowledge that someday I’d die.”

Joanne recommends Health Justice Now by Timothy Faust, explaining, “It is a good introduction to how much of a mess the current system is, how simple the solution is, and the tactics necessary to make the solution a reality.”

After attending a film festival, Laura

writes, “Lovecraft stories are notoriously difficult to film. How do you portray something that is written specifically to be uncanny, something indescribable, a terror that the human mind can’t comprehend?”

My recent retreats from the Internet are echoed in Angelica’s letter at the end of 2019, as she asks, “Lately, I want to curl into myself, retreat from the light when it comes to the internet. But that’s an impossibility when it comes to my career. So, what’s the answer?”

And Evie strikes a nerve when she opens the year 2020 with reflections and regrets about our relationships with elderly family members: “…

I want to implore child-me to talk to my grandparents.

To ask them anything that occurred to me about their lives, their experiences as young people, as parents. What it was like to grow old, how it felt.”

(948)

I subscribe to a few different TinyLetter writers, but I must confess that I don’t always read their letters. I often leave them Unread, that disturbing state in which each letter gets added to the digit beside the Unread section of my email account. I had (948) Unread emails this morning. With great regret, it was time to declare email bankruptcy and mark them all as Read.

I clicked on a few letters as I went along.

On February 28th, 2018, Jean writes, “Yes, my day was ruined. Who knew I’d feel so keen to see my gastroenterologist?”

Pierce recalls his run-in with a dog walker on April 13th of the same year: “‘But sure what can you do? The only alternative is to put a roof over the country.’ And he strides off into the clouds, and we descend out of them.”

That summer, Justin is thankful: “i’m thankful to remind myself of the reason that i started these notes, which is to remember things i appreciated or appreciate things i remember.”

Kid Pretentious shares my pessimism about government amid his latest music recommendations shortly before Thanksgiving: “These people consider life in Congress to be something of a chess match rather than a process by which our collective lives are decided, which is as troubling as you are probably thinking right now.”

Anaïs presents a list of stuff to remember at the start of 2019: “that being soft in this world is so hard but even just the attempt will keep you open to more than you can imagine.”

I receive a timely word from Chelsea about the difficulty of writing, as she reveals over the summer, “In writing A Certain Hunger, whose elevator pitch is ’Eat, Pray, Love meets American Psycho,’ I got my inspiration in wanting to eviscerate all the fuckboys I’d ever loved before, and I got my discipline from the knowledge that someday I’d die.”

Joanne recommends Health Justice Now by Timothy Faust, explaining, “It is a good introduction to how much of a mess the current system is, how simple the solution is, and the tactics necessary to make the solution a reality.”

After attending a film festival, Laura

writes, “Lovecraft stories are notoriously difficult to film. How do you portray something that is written specifically to be uncanny, something indescribable, a terror that the human mind can’t comprehend?”

My recent retreats from the Internet are echoed in Angelica’s letter at the end of 2019, as she asks, “Lately, I want to curl into myself, retreat from the light when it comes to the internet. But that’s an impossibility when it comes to my career. So, what’s the answer?”

And Evie strikes a nerve when she opens the year 2020 with reflections and regrets about our relationships with elderly family members: “…

I want to implore child-me to talk to my grandparents.

To ask them anything that occurred to me about their lives, their experiences as young people, as parents. What it was like to grow old, how it felt.”

boxartcomparisons:

Box art comparison (JP/US/EU): Red Ninja: End of Honour.

My past comes back to haunt me…

This and the Leisure Suit Larry game were weird to work on from the marketing side because I often had to create various online banners in Photoshop, which meant I’d have art like this right on my screen that faced out into the hallway.

Red Ninja: Kekka no Mai (Red Ninja: Blood River Dance) (JP)Red Ninja: End of Honor (US)Red Ninja: End of Honour (EU)

boxartcomparisons:

Box art comparison (JP/US/EU): Red Ninja: End of Honour.

My past comes back to haunt me…

This and the Leisure Suit Larry game were weird to work on from the marketing side because I often had to create various online banners in Photoshop, which meant I’d have art like this right on my screen that faced out into the hallway.

The symbolic level

I began the year 2020 with the intent to read all twenty-two of the books in the Boss Fight Books series. The anthology features a different author for each book, and each book is ostensibly about a specific video game. I have completed three of the books so far: EarthBound by Ken Baumann, Chrono Trigger by Michael P. Williams, and ZZT by Anna Anthropy. I am in the middle of Galaga by Michael Kimball. The authors’ names are important because as much as the books are about those video games (they are explained in detail), they are also about the authors themselves. The style of the writing in these books is what I came to know as confessional writing, the type of vulnerable and honest literature I once associated with my favorite authors here on Tumblr, and which I haphazardly engaged in. I saw many of those authors move on to write excellent essays focused on their personal experiences with film at Bright Wall/Dark Room, which still publishes issues to this day. There have also been projects by creators like Katie West that bring together writers who’ve come up on platforms such as this. It’s a thrill to see that the legacy is carried on and now proven to be a viable option for full-length book explorations that are focused on video games.

My career in video games has spanned fifteen years and dozens of projects. I’ve been dutifully invested in literature as a creative medium during that time, but I’ve always struggled to marry these two important aspects of my life. You know, to explain and expound upon video games in a way I thought would be meaningful, like the excellent writings from Patrick right here on our beloved Tumblr. I was always too scattered to make the effort but felt that there is something important to be written about video games in relation to who we are, who I am. It’s a prism through which I want to be broken into my constituent parts. I see now that I was right, that it is possible, but question whether I can make it happen. I’ve been working on some writings since last year but they’re dry and empty of the rich vulnerability I see in the books from Boss Fight. For now, I read and hope. At the very least, I am so fucking inspired. The authors are amazing.

One of the early book-length explorations of a single video game is 2013′s Killing is Harmless by Brendan Keogh. I just bought it and hope to read it later in the year. Addressing whether it’s worthwhile to look so deeply into video games that don’t necessarily lend themselves to such analysis, Keogh wrote, “now I look back at my whole ‘reading into’ of the game on a symbolic level and I just sort of cringe.” Sometimes I worry about the same thing. These creations are products, things to be sold for a profit and disposable after they’ve generated their revenue. Are they worth such scrutiny and critical investment? But then I see the hundreds of classes dedicated to analyzing Shakespeare and wonder if that’s any more worthwhile. I’m willing to gaze at my navel for a while, to really mine for that vein of vulnerability and find out.