Month: January 2021

This GME business (and to a lesser extent TSLA) arrived at a time of particularly intense money anxiety. I worry daily, looking at my sad financial state of affairs as I approach middle age, calculating and recalculating what I’ll need for myself to live a meager elderly existence, pondering how I could earn more elsewhere, how I could have bought stock at unknowable low points and sold at unknowable high points, how much of a failure and fraud I am for exuding responsibility as I bled into credit cards for almost a decade, that I need to continue this for decades as I get older and more tired, that this industry is so youth-driven and eventually I won’t keep up, worrying that I want to give to my parents, to get them fucking insurance because their health comes with a price, to take them on trips and hope and pray they can relax, to own a house so they can visit me because they never have, not in the thirteen years I’ve lived far from them, always living in studios that barely fit one, how I can’t help myself, cant help my brothers, can’t prove that I’m okay, that this is all normal and fine, that we’re betting against each other constantly just to get ahead, that I’m no better in the end and just another rat in the maze.

This GME business (and to a lesser extent TSLA) arrived at a time of particularly intense money anxiety. I worry daily, looking at my sad financial state of affairs as I approach middle age, calculating and recalculating what I’ll need for myself to live a meager elderly existence, pondering how I could earn more elsewhere, how I could have bought stock at unknowable low points and sold at unknowable high points, how much of a failure and fraud I am for exuding responsibility as I bled into credit cards for almost a decade, that I need to continue this for decades as I get older and more tired, that this industry is so youth-driven and eventually I won’t keep up, worrying that I want to give to my parents, to get them fucking insurance because their health comes with a price, to take them on trips and hope and pray they can relax, to own a house so they can visit me because they never have, not in the thirteen years I’ve lived far from them, always living in studios that barely fit one, how I can’t help myself, cant help my brothers, can’t prove that I’m okay, that this is all normal and fine, that we’re betting against each other constantly just to get ahead, that I’m no better in the end and just another rat in the maze.