The Bible, Douay-Rheims, Complete – “3 Kings” ed. Richard Challoner (1752)

Okay so now Solomon’s in charge and there’s no war so things are good? Except he’s going around murdering enemies Godfather-style. And now a parade of kings as we run down the list and deeds of the rest of David’s successors.

The Bible, Douay-Rheims, Complete – “4 Kings” ed. Richard Challoner (1752)

I think Eliseus is the star here? But the details of the chapters are more scattered. Perhaps due to winding down the chronicle of the kings. Hazael, Jezrahel, Jezabel, oh my. Oh shit Jehu will not stand for Baal worship. Dang, and Jerusalem has fallen!

Tales of the Dominion War – “What Dreams May Come” by Michael Jan Friedman (2004)

The complacency of fools something something.

Tales of the Dominion War – “Night of the Vulture” by Greg Cox (2004)

As close to Cannibal Holocaust as Star Trek gets.

Tales of the Dominion War – “The Ceremony of Innocence is Drowned” by Keith R.A. DeCandido (2004)

Put up your walls and a gun for every good citizen.

Tales of the Dominion War – “Blood Sacrifice” by Josepha Sherman & Susan Schwartz (2004)

Impatience is a sign of having lived too long.

Tales of the Dominion War – “Mirror Eyes” by Heather Jarman & Jeffrey Lang (2004)

If your place is compromised, that’s your new place.

Tales of the Dominion War – “Twilight’s Wrath” by David Mack (2004)

Slash the throat of your master to serve you and yours.

Tales of the Dominion War – “Eleven Hours Out” by Dave Galanter (2004)

The only place to go is the way ahead.

Tales of the Dominion War – “Safe Harbors” by Howard Weinstein (2004)

Call them all in, we’re alone.

Tales of the Dominion War – “Field Expediency” by Dayton Ward & Kevin Dilmore (2004)

Desperation will keep you from seeing it all.

Tales of the Dominion War – “A Song Well Sung” by Robert Greenberger (2004)

When your enemy leaves you bare.

Tales of the Dominion War – “Stone Cold Truths” by Peter David (2004)

The children only know what they see and hear.

Tales of the Dominion War – “Requital” by Michael A. Martin & Andy Mangels (2004)

What will you do, when you find it?

Dracula Daily – “June” by Bram Stoker & ed. Matt Kirkland (1897)

A slow and obvious realization that your friend is not your friend.

Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton (1990)

The lecture-style of story-telling wears just a bit too thin for my tastes.

“Aquarium” by NoneToon (2022) 

It’s hard to make friends, wouldn’t you agree?

“Making art in America. 👁👄👁” dir. Angie Wang (2022)

Please find a way.

Montana Story dir. Scott McGehee (2022)

Leave when you have to leave. Your place is where you choose to be.

Crimes of the Future dir. David Cronenberg (2022)

The subtle ways in which we fall apart.

Watcher dir. Chloe Okuno (2022)

👍👍👍

Jurassic World Dominion dir. Colin Trevorrow (2022)

Give DeWanda Wise her own adventure movie/series.

Top Gun: Maverick dir. Joseph Kosinski (2022)

Get your planes, get your guns, step right up.

G.I. Joe: The Movie dir. Don Jurwich (1987)

Better with no context whatsoever.

Elvis dir. Baz Luhrmann (2022)

That new Elvis biopic is more entertainment than history, but it still helped me get why Elvis was a big deal after growing up on 90s media made by 70s kids who treated him as a joke. And Austin Butler’s portrayal of Elvis is :chefskiss:.

The Black Phone dir. Scott Derrickson (2022)

It sets up all the pieces perfectly.

Lightyear dir. Angus MacLane (2022)

I like space and I like adventures but when you’re Pixar there’s a burden to deliver on a certain level of charm that is missing here.

The Cat Returns dir. Hiroyuki Morita (2004)

A neat little fantasy, and you know, I didn’t realize how much I missed whimsical fantasy adventures with some small measure of risk.

Marcel The Shell With Shoes On dir. Dean Fleischer-Camp (2022)

Marcel’s got the improv quips and a lovely story about what it means to stick to family or to let them go.

Goosebumps – “My Hairiest Adventure” (1996)

Body hair and its many wonders.

Goosebumps – “It Came from Beneath the Sink” (1996)

Stick to the book, although it’s neat seeing the beginnings of an actor who went on to success in the horror genre.

Goosebumps – “The Barking Ghost” (1997)

Woof.

Goosebumps – “Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes” (1996)

Sometimes I see that a given book has been adapted for television and try to imagine how they would’ve pulled it off on a low TV budget of the 90s. And with this one, I fretted over the fact that unless they chose to use expensive stop-motion animation, they’d probably find a way to have little people dressed up as lawn gnomes. Sure enough…

Goosebumps – “Shocker on Shock Street” (1997)

Love the book, not the TV episode. Gonna fret any time a fucked up book ending gets swapped for a more tame TV-friendly version.

Goosebumps – “Haunted Mask II” (1996)

You didn’t have to redo everything from the first one. The book knew that.

Goosebumps – “The Headless Ghost” (1996)

Oh. You know, you had something there at the end. A comeuppance would’ve been good.

Goosebumps – “How I Got My Shrunken Head” (1998)

The book was vague in its exact location and cultural references but the TV episode makes it much more specific about which backward people the white westerners have decided to enslave.

“The Ghost Birds” by Karen Russell (2021)

You see them when you look away.

The Bible, Douay-Rheims, Complete – “1 Kings” ed. Richard Challoner (1752)

Saul done fucked up and all of Israel pays the price. God really loves an underdog though, helping David survive and accrue power on the sidelines as he gets built up to be the good king.

The Bible, Douay-Rheims, Complete – “2 Kings” ed. Richard Challoner (1752)

This is some real Game of Thrones-ass Bible with the fallout from Saul’s death and David’s coming and going as he keeps having to fight off the Philistines and others. And I thought Kings was a 2-parter but now you’re telling me there’s ANOTHER TWO chapters of king-making?

Dracula Daily – “May” by Bram Stoker & ed. Matt Kirkland (1897)

My good friend Jonathan Harker is having a rough start to his summer.

“Gorn Trek” by dux (2022)

All of Star Trek is poorer for having not received a TV series following the continued journeys of Gorn.

Outer Wilds – “Echoes of the Eye” dev. Mobius Digital (2021)

I was sour over being made to dwell in the dark, but I understand now. The rest of it bowled me over and now I’ll gladly replay those segments with more appreciation. I can’t get enough of conspiracy board gameplay.

Aperture Desk Job dev. Valve (2022)

Yep, Valve needs to make more games.

Sitting dir. Emily Yoshida (2017)

Hold my hand and tell me of yesterday.

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness dir. Sam Raimi (2022)

Like: it’s so weird and VERY Sam Raimi horror-goof. Dislike: too many moving parts and definitely hindered by MCU tie-in fluff. EEAAO is my multiverse of choice this season.

The Ancestral dir. Le-Van Kiet (2022)

You can’t run away when you’re chasing.

Petite Maman dir. Céline Sciamma (2022)

An understanding achieved is the greatest moment.

Firestarter dir. Keith Thomas (2022)

Control was the illusion. Now it’s chaos we seek.

Eraserhead dir. David Lynch (1977)

Motile horrors.

Videodrome dir. David Cronenberg (1983)

Ah, yes, absolutely long live the new flesh.

Men dir. Alex Garland (2022)

You almost got there.

Crash dir. David Cronenberg (1996)

Meet me on I-5 and I’ll show you something sweet.

The Bob’s Burgers Movie dir. Loren Bouchard & Bernard Derriman (2022)

A feature-length pace isn’t always the way.

Goosebumps – “Stay Out of the Basement” (1996)

You know you shouldn’t go back for the dog.

Goosebumps – “Monster Blood” (1996)

Leave Aunt Kathryn to her hi-jinks.

Goosebumps – “Let’s Get Invisible” (1996)

If we’re in it together then it might not be so bad.

Goosebumps – “The Girl Who Cried Monster” (1995)

Self-defeating prophecies.

Goosebumps – “The Ghost Next Door” (1998)

An eternity of repayment.

Goosebumps – “Be Careful What You Wish For” (1996)

Leave good endings alone when you bring them to TV.

Goosebumps – “The Werewolf of Fever Swamp” (1996)

If a howl works, take it.

Goosebumps – “You Can’t Scare Me” (1996)

The perfect girl is real actually.

Goosebumps – “One Day at Horrorland” (1997)

You had to take it too far.

Goosebumps – “More Monster Blood” (1996)

A light jaunt through 1970s TV set design.

Goosebumps – “Scarecrow Walks at Midnight” (1996)

Nope.

Goosebumps – “Go Eat Worms” (1996)

Perhaps the most awful notion.

Goosebumps – “Ghost Beach” (1996)

Just stick to nice hotels.

Goosebumps – “Return of the Mummy” (1995)

Story so nice they did it twice.

Goosebumps – “Phantom of the Auditorium” (1995)

Not the dark and handsome stranger you’re looking for.

Como Dice el Dicho – “Muerto el perro se acabó la rabia” (2019)

Except I wouldn’t even want a dog.

The Bible, Douay-Rheims, Complete – “Judges” ed. Richard Challoner (1752)

Eyy Samson, and a lot of focus on how the Israelites are more a loose band of tribes than a nation led by a king. And we sing, “there is no king.”

The Bible, Douay-Rheims, Complete – “Ruth” ed. Richard Challoner (1752)

Short and sweet, focused on Ruth’s origin as wife of Booz in the lineage that leads to King David. The next book is called 1 Kings so it feels like they’ll finally get to the fireworks factory.

Man Hating Psycho – “Change :)” by Iphgenia Baal (2021)

This takes me back about a decade or more to wanting to be a cool and interesting writer with cool and interesting friends. The way these characters live their lives feels so chaotic and carefree, as I tried to be for a hot second.

Man Hating Psycho – “Pain in the Neck” by Iphgenia Baal (2021)

There are moments where a character might wonder if they should just go home, and I’m like, yes, go home and get outta this situation full of uncertainty and risk, but then I should know better, shouldn’t I? This pairs well with my recent Mitski obsession.

Man Hating Psycho – “Middle English Bestiary” by Iphgenia Baal (2021)

There’s a voice here I hadn’t read for a long time because I was terrified to go back there. I used to ask some people I’d meet (digitally communicate with), “are you real?” Since those mixed up days (are they any different now?), I’ve cut myself off from most communication with most people. Instead, I found a place in reading fiction. All sorts, high-minded lit to comfy-as-a-couch science fiction or horror.

Man Hating Psycho – “vodaphone.co.uk/help” by Iphgenia Baal (2021)

I received the communication from them, these made-up people in made-up scenarios. They didn’t need anything from me. I, naturally, began tracking all these fictional works in lists, because how else would I remember that one story about the time a young woman named Belle Starr held a man at gunpoint and which offered no resolution? That’s been the way of it for going on a decade.

Man Hating Psycho – “Nothing Old, Nothing New, Nothing Borrowed, Nothing Blue” by Iphgenia Baal (2021)

Then I read this collection of short stories, and I couldn’t immediately file it away and move on. I was confident I was reading fiction in the first few stories, clearly satire yeah? But then it starts to get more real, too personal to be made-up. Perhaps drawn from the author’s real life but rearranged to protect the innocent, you know. The momentum then builds as more and more of real life seeps in including some of my own that I try to keep at bay.

Man Hating Psycho – “I Just Want to Pull Down Your Panties and Fuck You” by Iphgenia Baal (2021)

London and Los Angeles, police and Grenfell, identity derived from parents and their parents and their parents. It’s a jam. So some fiction and some nonfiction? How have I never run into this before? I researched the author’s work. Some fiction, some nonfiction. Six in one hand, half a dozen in the other. This and that and all of it. I guess some writing just does that to you.

“The Night-Mother” by Melanie Gillman (2021)

Not long for the upright world.

“Sometimes even the villains have standards” by britainbray (2022)

Someone has to place value on life.

You Won’t Be Alone dir. Goran Stolevski (2022)

Carve the home you want from the stone in the path.

Morbius dir. Daniel Espinosa (2022)

You could have been a contender.

Ambulance dir. Michael Bay (2022)

A gambling man never wins.

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 dir. Jeff Fowler (2022)

Eggman or Robotnik, you decide.

Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore dir. David Yates (2022)

Unnecessary secrets in a unnecessary confession.

Dual dir. Riley Stearns (2022)

Keep it, it’s yours.

The Northman dir. Robert Eggers (2022)

When the story has too much meaning to its creator.

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent dir. Tom Gormican (2022)

Mr. Cage is doing fine.

The Bad Guys dir. Pierre Perifel (2022)

Join us or die.

Moon of the Wolf dir. Daniel Petrie (1972)

My fantasy in which the monster kills all the landed gentry. Just unnecessary violence and destruction. This is not it, but I want to see it.

Charlotte dir. Eric Warin & Tahir Rana (2022)

Charlotte Salomon lived a short life. Charlotte Salomon lived a complicated life.

The Monster Squad dir. Fred Dekker (1987)

I understand, but it flew by and now it’s beyond me.

Memory dir. Martin Campbell (2022)

Two Liam Neeson snoozy thrillers in as many months and I wonder who’s clamoring to see these in theaters. This was the better take on an aging assassin thanks to the rest of the cast. A more generous analysis might be, “Under this reading, Neeson’s action movies are about the order whiteness and wealth has imposed on the world, the male sense of entitlement to that order, and the violence lurking beneath it, aimed at anyone who tries to disrupt it.”

The Bible, Douay-Rheims, Complete – “Deuteronomy” ed. Richard Challoner (1752)

More repetition of mostly the same rules and laws from Numbers and Leviticus, but now we see just how wrathful God gets about his flock going astray. He knew exactly what would happen and fully expected that the Israelites would gripe and fall in with the false idols of the natives of the promised lands. It’s basically a demonic horror villain promising all the ways he’s going to make you suffer. I just feel bad for Moses, who tried real hard to keep a society of people in good standing with the Lord but they were just not gonna have it.

The Bible, Douay-Rheims, Complete – “Josue” ed. Richard Challoner (1752)

I gotta say, I look forward to these shorter books after the long stretches. Josue is believed to have been written by the man himself except for a few final verses added on after his death, an interesting sidenote in this revision. In content, it’s mostly another inventory of the people of Israel and Josue’s role as executor of God’s estate after the Israelites swept through and killed most of the natives. The Old Testament seems to be mostly rules, inventory, and promises of horrible pain and death.

The Fall of Terok Nor by Judith & Garfield Reeves-Stevens (2000)

This first part of a trilogy delivered on classic characters in their element, though the authors made some weird choices around characters expressing their attractions and it made some dialogue and behaviors feel out of character.

The War of the Prophets by Judith & Garfield Reeves-Stevens (2000)

Then the second part of the trilogy goes off-the-wall ape-shit in its plot. It really is a mind-boggling series of events with some especially gruesome moments of violence. Not bad, per se, but taking the characters out of their element really threw me for a loop. It reminds me of many a middle entry that just isn’t particularly pleasant because bad things are happening to characters I know and it won’t be resolved until the third part.

Inferno by Judith & Garfield Reeves-Stevens (2000)

The time travel element hits hard in the ending of this trilogy of novels, and although they get long-winded at times, it’s fun when characters are trying to use technobabble to explain time travel mechanics and paradoxes woven into the many wild layers of shenanigans. But this one ends the horrifying stuff that happens in the previous book and brings everyone back to Deep Space Nine, which I very much appreciated. It’s maybe too neat an ending considering everything they experience, but it’s also where they needed to be since this all takes place in the latter part of the sixth season of the show.

“Giraffes Explained” by Tim Andraka (2022)

Ah, I knew there had to be a logical explanation.

“I have been hired to clean the wizard tower” by tart (2022)

Tough job, but it’s a living.

“白圈 White Ring” by Woshibai & trans. Guandi Wu (2022)

What an immensely confusing experience is childhood.

“Platformer Practice” dev. Itizso (2020)

Love a good girder hop.

Fox’s Peter Pan & the Pirates dev. & pub. Tiger Electronics (1990)

I have never completed a LCD handheld game and I don’t know that I’ll ever achieve this again.

The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles dev. Chris Gray Enterprises & pub. Jaleco (1992)

Nintendo hard still applies to this game from quite late in the life of the NES, but it may be the most mechanically fun of the various games based on Young Indiana Jones. I’m still wondering if this deserves more praise than it seemed to receive in its time.

Instruments of Chaos Starring Young Indiana Jones dev. Brian A. Rice, Waterman Design & pub. Sega (1994)

Whereas this second 2D platformer tried for some technical feats and really just falls flat with its bonkers physics and controls. The very long list of testers guarantees that the issues were noted and this was the best they could do in what I can only assume was a very short development period.

The Adventures of Young Indiana Jones: Revolution dev. Riverdeep, Asylum Entertainment  & pub. LucasArts (2007)

I was trying to remember if Flash was still relevant for game development in 2007, and I think it was on its way out then. I still harbor some nostalgia for the vector visuals.

The Adventures of Young Indiana Jones: Special Delivery dev. Riverdeep, Asylum Entertainment  & pub. LucasArts (2007)

Someone decided the first game was too easy and cranked up the difficulty of the dexterity challenges, which is an odd choice for slow-paced games based around adequately preparing for long journeys a la The Oregon Trail and answering historical trivia questions.

The Adventures of Young Indiana Jones: Hunting for Treasure dev. Riverdeep, Asylum Entertainment  & pub. LucasArts (2008)

While mechanically these simple dialogue and mini game assemblages aren’t very interesting, their edutainment factor is impressive. I really did learn some history each time a character asked me for some obscure detail about war machines or tribal rituals.

Robot Carnival – “Opening” dir. Katsuhiro Otomo & Atsuko Fukushima (1987)

An opening to behold.

Robot Carnival – “Franken’s Gears” dir. Koji Morimoto (1987)

Animating any mechanical object must be someone’s special hell.

Robot Carnival – “Star Light Angel” dir. Hiroyuki Kitazume (1987)

Journey with me.

Robot Carnival – “Deprive” dir. Hidetoshi Ōmori (1987)

If you fight and you fight then you will only fight.

Robot Carnival – “Cloud” dir. Manabu Ōhashi (1987)

Continuation is the curse we fail to acknowledge.

The Batman dir. Matt Reeves (2022)

A freak indeed.

Gangubai Kathiawadi dir. Sanjay Leela Bhansali (2022)

Look out for the ones beside you.

Compartment No. 6 dir. Juho Kuosmanen (2021)

The darkness of the everyday makes me more apprehensive than the terrors we avoid.

Umma dir. Iris K. Shim (2022)

A slap in the face of this wayward child.

The Outfit dir. Graham Moore (2022)

A little less polished and this could’ve really hit hard.

X dir. Ti West (2022)

When you’re alone and alone and alone, your world is the only and the others don’t belong.

Sweet Smell of Success dir. Alexander Mackendrick (1957)

There’s no stopping what can’t be stopped.

The Changeling dir. Peter Medak (1980)

A certain kind of horror hero who doesn’t acknowledge the fear.

Re-Animator dir. Brian Yuzna & Stuart Gordon (1985)

This insistence on forever.

Everything Everywhere All At Once dir. Daniels (2022)

The other you pokes you on the shoulder.

La Mujer Murcielago dir. René Cardona (1968)

Yes! The existence of the thing demands its preservation.

The Lost City dir. Aaron Nee & Adam Nee (2022)

It always ends inside the tomb, don’t it?

Infinite Storm dir. Malgorzata Szumowska (2022)

What is the weight of a life to you? Does it ever get too heavy?

Mighty Max (1993-1994)

I always remembered the final episode as a particularly clever way to end a syndicated animated show that would mostly be watched out of order. And considering that this show was made to advertise toys to kids, it’s a surprisingly mature and dark look at the ol’ hero’s journey.