sisko was so funny for letting garak on board the defiant when they were taking odo home but only if he promises to bullshit a dying man for the next ten hours straight. and garak was like oh fuck yes I love to lie
We all know Gul Dukat is an irredeemable monster, and that’s why we love to hate him, but somehow I never give enough thought to the fact that he straight-up murdered a Cardassian politician’s wife and kidnapped his son, just in the off chance that he might need political leverage at some point in the indeterminate future. And everyone on DS9 knows it, but he just hangs around all the time anyway and they’re all like, “ugh, this fucking guy,” and they just roll their eyes and fix his ship for him. This is why DS9 is the best Star Trek.
It’s only because they can’t pitch him out of an airlock due to the Political Ramifications. But you know they sit around talking about how they could maybe, possibly figure out how to make it look like an accident.
Not all of them at once, mind you. This is definitely a regular topic of conversation between Kira and Dax when they are having girl’s nights, especially after that episode where Garak called Dukat out for having a crush on Kira.
Julian and Miles talk about it while playing darts, and occasionally get drive-by advice on why their ideas suck by Quark.
Odo is much too Law & Order to have these conversations, though when he happens to overhear a particularly viable plan he casually mentions a convenient hole in the terrible, unfixable Cardassian-made security system to relevant persons.
Sisko pretends these discussions do not happen and makes his Space Dad face whenever Dax tries to engage him in this fun game (It’s just a thought experiment, Benjamin!). A few times, maybe two or three, Dax has been able to get him just tipsy enough to stop being Space Dad and instead be Mentee Benjamin again. That’s when she realizes that he has not only thought out a good half dozen deeply intricate and highly possible scenarios, but that there are encrypted holosuite programs involved and an isolinear chip hidden in his quarters that is mysteriously almost full, yet the only file on it is a jazz album from the late 2200s.
In the end, Dukat falling into the chasm of the Pagh Wraiths was him getting off light.
