The thing about stockings is, they remind me of the girls in high school, and I don’t know what the high school kids might wear these days, but back in my day, they all wore these thigh-length stockings, white or blue or purple or whatever, and it was cute as fuck because these girls, how else’re they going to show off their stockings but by wearing skirts high enough to show that the damn things cut off at mid-thigh, and I’ve got to wonder if it was ever a conscious thing, like playing to the school girl ideal that a lot of old fucks cling to, but I wasn’t an old fuck then, I was some kid who thought this is just what girls do, wear their stockings like that, and I think I might’ve thrown the stocking thing right out the window along with the attraction to lip gloss and girls who jump rope, except Lorena, she went and wore the damn things when she gave me my first blowjob, and granted I wasn’t anywhere near her stockings during this, during the blowjob, but I sort of burned it into my head, right the fuck into the core place where all of the basest desires come from, and Lorena, she was a pretty girl, but I don’t exactly have her etched into my mind, it’s just that image, of the girl with stockings, so now it’s a thing I have and what’s an old fuck supposed to do except tell you to wear them when we fuck, any kind, preferably striped, with the most serious face you’ve ever seen in your life, and expect you to do the thing, the stockings and whole song and dance, or the thing where we’re in the forest, or whatever, because the thing is, whatever you have etched into your brain, whatever little thing got burned in there, whether you like it or not, it’s there, and it could be the strangest thing to you, might make you sick, but to me, this old fuck with the thing for stockings, it’s the most beautiful thing in the goddamn world, because it’s what you got burned into your brain, and here’s my point: your brain’s like that field in heaven where there’s no right and no wrong and everything makes complete sense because it makes you feel good, makes you feel like happiness was there all along and all you needed to do was die to find it.