For a time, I tried exercising in the morning. This was a short-lived and futile change in my schedule. It didn’t take long to switch back to working out late in the evening so’s I could then return home, take care of some odds and ends until midnight, and fall right to sleep. For too short a time, then, the only thing I had to look forward to in the early morning was wanton cravings for oral sex. Specifically, a certain indifference toward our need to sleep and a hushed agreement that one would lie there and accept the other’s hands and mouth greedily going down before dawn.
I am left with the insomnia of angst and the existential darkness of winter. If I’m fortunate, I wake up early enough to listen to the silence of rainfall and return to sleep for an hour or two, hushed by no one and allowed to be so lazy as to sleep right through a particularly carnal dream.