Fell into the ineffectual pattern of making plans. This thing, that thing. Items on a list that grows longer and longer. To compensate, I’ve been reducing where I can. Getting rid of devices, clothes, things. Online accounts of all sorts. Inexplicably, I had multiple accounts at sites like tumblr, twitter, google, yahoo. Just need the one for each, if that.
Keeping my transportation though (bicycle, motorcycle, SUV). There’s a lot of value in that.
Don’t know why, but when I visit my grandfather’s grave, it feels right to kneel. One knee. Talk, probably, and explain things. That habit that one never shakes. Explaining why things have turned out the way they have. Tell him how my pop is doing, since I don’t figure my pop to be someone who’ll visit a grave. My brothers, my mom. Tell him about the way the place has changed since I last visited the family in Tepa. More stores, more people, newer cars. Tell him that I’m not and will not ever be the family man, but that even though things weren’t perfect for anyone, we turned out alright. Alive and responsible for that life, anyway. That bit of maturity.
Aw, hell. What happens in the moment is anyone’s guess.
Bought the ticket. I’ll be there in January, a few weeks after visiting my folks. I’ll need to ask my pop to borrow the keys to his house, which is built over the house he originally bought for his folks. My grandma’s still around some when she’s not out in Chicago or Los Angeles or Modesto, staying with family. Kind of hope she won’t be there when I visit. I’m hoping for no fuss.