I was offered a cigarette this morning.

“Sure, why not. End of the year and all.”

It tasted fucking terrible. I didn’t even finish it, to her dismay. “They cost.”

Given my turn in demeanor these past six months or so, I was on the verge of telling her I’d rather have her in my mouth. Still too much, but I’m wondering where it ends, if.

She was a pretty blonde with gorgeous legs. Not my usual attractor, but hey. Pretty blonde with gorgeous legs. We talked. I offered unsolicited advice regarding college. “I’m a pro at moving before I get the degree,” I told her. “Try and finish one before you go to New York.”

She asked why I wasn’t “at home with friends for the New Year?”

“Why aren’t you?”

She was visiting her mother. She showed me a photograph of herself with her mother from her wallet. A lean, pale woman, with long brunette hair. Beautiful laugh lines.

“She’s up in our room,” she said. “Still sleeping.”

“In town to celebrate?”

“Maybe,” she said. “We’re going to grab dinner. My mother’s not really into parties.”

“Parties are overrated. Unless there’s a theme, like those Mad Menparties.”

She smiled and bowed her head down and then away from the conversation.

“So, why aren’t you with someone you know?”

I pulled the same move and looked out at the parking lot across the street. My rental was sitting somewhere out there.

“I don’t know,” I said. “Probably too afraid to be with someone I know.”

“Why?”

This really got me. I like probing questions.

“It’s been a rough year,” which felt like a lie.

“Well, now you know me and the year’s about to end,” after which she introduced herself.

“And I’m not afraid. That’s a good sign,” and I did the same.

“So, what’re you doing after dinner?”

She smiled a bit shyly then, and that got me, too. I like timidness.

“Nothing much.”

“Well, I’ll be in the bar, here. If you’d like a a drink—you know, the two of you—look for me. If I don’t see you, Happy New Year.”

I excused myself and returned to my room to stare out the window.

KJ posted something really great this morning. “Shut up and swallow the fireworks.” I don’t usually quote others out into the open air, but I like this. I hope I get to borrow it.