Tag: canada

I calm myself in this manner. Staring out the window. I tune out the noise and watch the rain or snow fall onto the cars and pavement. If I’m in a mood for holding someone down I’ll grip my left wrist behind my back and squeeze. Feel my bone, the pulse. I usually enjoy the view.

Life is cyclical. Do you believe it? I’ve seen it myself. My last December 30th was spent on a plane to Seattle. I’d missed my train from San Francisco due to my problem with the morning hours. I suspect I was in the air around this time, after which I’d be in a cab and then in a hotel room in downtown, nearest to the water. I asked someone where I could get a steak. There was a lot of walking, from the docks to the Pike Place market to a restaurant that served a fantastic stout. I ate a steak.

Today, I’m in Canada. It’s not much different but for the cold.

You know, I said I’d do things. I didn’t read fifty books and get some of my work out there in print. The few stories I consider to be good enough to shop around still lack details and cohesive style. I sure as hell didn’t return to school. I’ve lost interest in returning to low level classes, especially if I move again. Instead I’m hoarding money like a squirrel and its nuts. Except for travel, I’m all money bags.

Then I did things I hadn’t thought about. I started swimming and walking regularly. I made big plans for the following years. I’ve mapped out my time until age 32. None of my plans include other people because, well, I’m short on trust. Them’s the breaks.

People will enter the picture anyway. It’s kind of what I love about life.

And, there’s this. Lots of talk about “I” and “me”. Where’s all the fiction and whimsical shit? It just don’t flow like it used to.

The first thing I’ll be doing next year is learning to shoot a gun. My pop had rifles and things that he sold before he ever showed us how to use them. He’s got some pistols now that he hides in a coat in his closet, but I don’t think he likes the thought of them.

That’s about it. I hope you’re happy, or will be soon if you’re not. I still just think that most of everyone are trying their best not to be terrible people.

I calm myself in this manner. Staring out the window. I tune out the noise and watch the rain or snow fall onto the cars and pavement. If I’m in a mood for holding someone down I’ll grip my left wrist behind my back and squeeze. Feel my bone, the pulse. I usually enjoy the view.

Life is cyclical. Do you believe it? I’ve seen it myself. My last December 30th was spent on a plane to Seattle. I’d missed my train from San Francisco due to my problem with the morning hours. I suspect I was in the air around this time, after which I’d be in a cab and then in a hotel room in downtown, nearest to the water. I asked someone where I could get a steak. There was a lot of walking, from the docks to the Pike Place market to a restaurant that served a fantastic stout. I ate a steak.

Today, I’m in Canada. It’s not much different but for the cold.

You know, I said I’d do things. I didn’t read fifty books and get some of my work out there in print. The few stories I consider to be good enough to shop around still lack details and cohesive style. I sure as hell didn’t return to school. I’ve lost interest in returning to low level classes, especially if I move again. Instead I’m hoarding money like a squirrel and its nuts. Except for travel, I’m all money bags.

Then I did things I hadn’t thought about. I started swimming and walking regularly. I made big plans for the following years. I’ve mapped out my time until age 32. None of my plans include other people because, well, I’m short on trust. Them’s the breaks.

People will enter the picture anyway. It’s kind of what I love about life.

And, there’s this. Lots of talk about “I” and “me”. Where’s all the fiction and whimsical shit? It just don’t flow like it used to.

The first thing I’ll be doing next year is learning to shoot a gun. My pop had rifles and things that he sold before he ever showed us how to use them. He’s got some pistols now that he hides in a coat in his closet, but I don’t think he likes the thought of them.

That’s about it. I hope you’re happy, or will be soon if you’re not. I still just think that most of everyone are trying their best not to be terrible people.