Kill the Irishman
dir. Jonathan Hensleigh (2011)
Ray Stevenson was the best part of HBO’s Rome, but here’s he’s a broody sort of crime guy that really doesn’t work for his acting style. He’s better as a bombastic rogue. But Linda Cardellini also appears in another bummer wife role with nothing to do, and even then, it’s great to see her work. My middle school crush on her continues unabated.
Lord of War
dir. Andrew Niccol (2005)
Wow, what is going on? Here’s another actor who is best at his craziest but this is another ‘brooding guy who must do the crime to survive’ type. And like above, his wife, played by Bridget Moynahan, is just another step along the crappy dude’s journey. It’s worse because Moynahan is also in John Wick, which is great, but another fucking movie with a broody murder guy whose wife is incidental. I mean, fuck all these dudes! I don’t give a shit about them. Write more interesting roles for women in the lead roles. Widows is on that path to the light.
Always Be My Maybe
dir. Nahnatchka Khan (2019)
Phew, okay, here we go. I’m not a fan of romantic comedies but this one slays. Or slaps? It does the right stuff, lemme tell you. Wong and Park and great in it and the characters around them are perfect. I watched this with my mom, who may be in love with Keanu Reeves. This may be his greatest role. Maybe we both are in love with Keanu Reeves.
Toy Story 4
dir. Josh Cooley (2019)
Okay this was dark and I loved it. They dared to do the thing that the characters are in terror of since the first movie. And Bo Peep is back which, you know, kind of redeems my diatribe above since she was another woman who gets the shit end of the story for the sake of the dude lead but now she’s back to kick his ass.
Armour of God
dir. Jackie Chan and Eric Tsang (1986)
Women are punching bags–literally and figuratively–for Chan’s comedy, but I don’t know, it’s very eighties. This first movie has cool action of course but really leans on side characters that aren’t that funny.
Armour of God II: Operation Condor
dir. Jackie Chan (1991)
But then Chan’s like, we don’t need no buddy cop bullshit, just him and some ladies! The women who accompany Chan on his anti-Nazi crusade are still treated as sexy jokes but they get more to do and I think it’s an improvement. And yeah more crazy action and stunts.
Spider-Man: Far From Home
dir. Jon Watts (2019)
I’m really glad they closed out this Marvel arc of bleak apocalypses with this movie because their best movies are always the character pieces about one of the super goofs. And it’s relatable because aren’t we all keeping a secret identity while juggling immense responsibility and trying to get the attentions of our esteemed crushes but not be too needy or showy about it? I’d like to think.
Midsommar
dir. Ari Aster (2019)
Oh fuck this month took a turn right about here and really, why, why would you go to the pagan cult town where they push LSD on you? Don’t do it. Stay in the cities, but not that part of the city with, like scientologists. Florence Pugh made me very uncomfortable and I think that’s the point. I should be uncomfortable.
1922
dir. Zak Hilditch (2017)
Aw jeez and now we’re in this depression-era hellhole of rats from the walls, from the ceilings, from every which hole they can crawl through. However I appreciate that while they totally blew it with the little they give Molly Parker, her character still gets something good to do. Maybe not good. Something wicked to do.
The Book of Eli
dir. The Hughes Brothers (2010)
You know this may be my anti-Catholic prejudice, but I really hoped the movie macguffin wasn’t what it turned out to be. That bummed me out. But the bleak world of washed out tones and horror was cool I guess, just not as cool as George Miller’s take on it. It reminded me of–and this is where I bring it back to Keanu–The Bad Batch, which is another horrible post-apocalyptic joint in the desert. Or the best part of Seraphim Falls when Anjelica Huston shows up. All that trippy desert survival shit. This movie falls in with that mood.
Crawl
dir. Alexandre Aja (2019)
Well, for one, don’t live in Florida. The sea, she’ll take it all back real soon. But if you have to live there and survive a squad of alligators coming after you, this is a good way to show it. It gets brutal and it mostly stays in a single house, which I thought was a cool approach. Also, this director absolutely has a feet thing.
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
dir. Quentin Tarantino (2019)
Just like this guy, whose thing with feet is on full display here. But it’s something you know going into a QT movie. There are some tense moments and that good ol’ historical revision in service of revenge fantasy. It reminds me of the time when I was a kid and wrote a story about going back in time to stop MLK from being assassinated by killing Oswald. I was maybe ten. Revenge fantasies are… something. Still mulling it over. In any case, it’s an interesting look at old Hollywood and shitty white dudes. The Nice Guys does something like it.
The Farewell dir. Lulu Wang (2019)
Nope, too real, please stop. Well okay go ahead, but if you have family issues like I do, you gonna cry. Awkwafina is fuckin’ rad.
Jessica Jones – Season 3 (2019)
Closing out the month and a whole lotta stuff is this third and final season. I thought Walker was alright before but it’s great to see her build-up to who she becomes. I mean, she gets exactly what she wanted but you know how that goes. I wished they’d developed Jones more and they sort of did by the end, but they bring her back to where she starts, kinda. I suppose it being the final season means you can run with it and decide if she grew as a character or what have you. It’s crazy that they got to make these shows at all. Disney’s PG service probably won’t have anything like it.