New Fiction 2023 – April

“Canticle of Canticles” ed. Richard Challoner (1752)

I don’t even remember. More lists I think, always the lists.

“Wisdom” ed. Richard Challoner (1752)

Additional listicle.

Horn and Ivory by Keith R. A. DeCandido (2001)

What a strange way to conclude a story. Keep it together.

Return to HorrorLand by R.L. Stine (1999)

Takes far too long to get to the good stuff, and it’s not as good the second time around.

“Halt” by spiralshells (2023)

Dead things know more than you.

“Broomistega & Thrinaxodon” by Erin Roseberry (2023)

Better together.

Indiana Jones and the Emperor’s Tomb dev. The Collective (2003)

Floaty Indy isn’t as enjoyable as it may seem.

Bartman: Avenger of Evil dev. Acclaim Entertainment (1991)

Put them all on a screen.

The X-Files: Resist or Serve dev. Black Ops Entertainment & The Collective (2004)

That finale shames us all.

“The Greatest Living Show” dir. Toby Fox & Itoki Hana (2023)

Good for him.

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves dir. Jonathan Goldstein & John Francis Daley (2023)

It sure does feel like someone’s campaign.

The Super Mario Bros. Movie dir. Aaron Horvath & Michael Jelenic (2023)

A bunch of stuff that happens.

Air dir. Ben Affleck (2023)

Surprisingly thrilling.

John Wick: Chapter 4 dir. Chad Stahelski (2023)

You don’t have to.

Suzume dir. Makoto Shinkai (2023)

Find one another.

Mafia Mamma dir. Catherine Hardwicke (2023)

Get out is what I always say.

Renfield dir. Chris McKay (2023)

Even Cage isn’t enough.

The Pope’s Exorcist dir. Julius Avery (2023)

Moped diaries.

Beau Is Afraid dir. Ari Aster (2023)

Get the power to make your fever dream.

Star Trek Discovery – Season 4 (2021)

That villain though.

Moonbeam City (2015)

Heavy on style.

Star Trek Picard  – Seasons 2-3 (2022-2023)

The nostalgia was good but changing lanes still hurts me.

New Fiction 2023 – March

“Proverbs” ed. Richard Challoner (1752)

So this is where priests pull their material.

“Ecclesiastes” ed. Richard Challoner (1752)

Don’t ask for what you want, like what you get.

“WPO” by Joanne McNeil (2022)

Windows into simpler times.

“Flesh” by Louis Evans (2022)

Slice me off a piece of you.

“Devolution” by Ellen Ullman (2022)

You’ll lose it all anyway.

“Always Home” by Jeff Vandermeer (2022)

There is only the Now People.

Demons of Air and Darkness by Keith R.A. DeCandido (2001)

A journey of catastrophe after catastrophe.

Coraline by Neil Gaiman (2002)

Thou art alive.

“It hurt, but i don’t regret it” by miggs perez (2023)

The little burns.

“Heaven, Heaven, Angel, Angel” by NoneToon (2023)

It’s going to find you, but will you listen?

“A poem” by oddlyunadventurous (2023)

Sweet sleepies.

Star Trek Deep Space Nine: N-Vector (2000)

When you give yourself over.

Hack ‘n’ Slash dev. Double Fine Productions (2014)

The power of the universe through a narrow lens.

God of War dev. Santa Monica Studio (2018)

If a mountain could move me, I would surrender as well.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer dev. The Collective (2002)

Machinations toward a recycling bin.

Creed III dir. Michael B. Jordan (2023)

Your brother knows himself.

Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre dir. Guy Ritchie (2023)

Celebrate the awful guy.

RRR dir. S. S. Rajamouli (2022)

Epic mythic!

The Lawnmower Man dir. Brett Leonard (1992)

Not the vision they feared.

Scream VI dir. Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett (2023)

That well’s looking mighty dark.

65 dir. Scott Beck & Bryan Woods (2023)

It could have been us.

Shazam! Fury of the Gods dir. David F. Sandberg (2023)

Fatigue of the void.

New Fiction 2023 – February

“Psalms” (101-150) ed. Richard Challoner (1752)

I’ll be honest, I just read Proverbs and now it blends in completely with whatever Psalms had going on. What I do remember of Psalms is realizing that a lot of what the ol’ Father is preaching at the pulpit is one-liners from this section of the bible.

Abyss by David Weddle & Jeffrey Lang (2001)

These DS9 novels spend a lot of time with Bashir and Dax as a couple, working out their couple stuff. I suppose they’re really the only couple available in these early releases of the relaunch, but I hope we get to see other perspectives on romantic relationships. But otherwise, it’s a neat and tidy little adventure, and I like the scenes in which a Jem’Hadar ally has to observe these weird humans and basically ask them “what the hell are you doing?”

“The Hole in the Wall” by Angela Hsieh (2022)

The hand in a hole! It’s great.

Men in Black: The Game dev. Gigawatt Studios & The Collective (1998)

Whoof. I mean, WHOOF. I would’ve been in for a survival horror game featuring the Men in Black, but then there’s awkward quips because it’s a comedy, and unnecessary action gameplay.

The Game of Life dev. Mass Media & The Collective (1998)

This was shockingly fun. A board game made into a video game could be so clunky and boring but this really felt like a neat way to play, as dated as the visual are by now.

“An Ostrich Told Me the World Is Fake and I Think I Believe It” dir. Lachlan Pendragon (2022)

This is so clever and well done.

“The Flying Sailor” dir. Amanda Forbis & Wendy Tilby (2022)

Oh no, but somehow it has a happy ending.

“Ice Merchants” dir. João Gonzalez (2022)

This is sweet and I only cried a little.

“The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse” dir. Peter Baynton & Charlie Mackesy (2022)

So blaaaannnnd but it’s really good looking.

“My Year of Dicks” dir. Sara Gunnarsdóttir (2022)

Hey, she makes lists like I make lists.

“Ivalu” dir. Anders Walter & Pipaluk K. Jørgensen (2022)

I don’t know why we allow ourselves to succumb to the basest horrors.

“Night Ride (Nattrikken)” dir. Eirik Tveiten (2020)

So fuckin’ tense, holy shit. Just know it turns out okay.

“Le Pupille” dir. Alice Rohrwacher (2022)

This was a riot.

“The Red Suitcase” dir. Cyrus Neshvad (2022)

Another tense one!

“An Irish Goodbye” dir. Tom Berkeley & Ross White (2022)

It’s not easy, all I’m saying.

Groundhog Day dir. Harold Ramis (1993)

Finally watched this in a theater! On groundhog day! That’s how I wanna watch all date-specific movies from now on. It’s so wild that this is likely the origin of the modern time loop narrative.

Infinity Pool dir. Brandon Cronenberg (2023)

Jesus Christ, it just kinda goes on, getting more and more awful. But the final scenes bring it home for me.

80 for Brady dir. Kyle Marvin (2023)

This is so quaint in that “we don’t see movies like these in theaters” sorta way.

Magic Mike dir. Steven Soderbergh (2012)

Mike’s dream is so wholesome, he deserves it.

Living dir. Oliver Hermanus (2022)

I liked this. It reminds us that you can’t save the world, but you can help someone next to you.

Magic Mike XXL dir. Gregory Jacobs (2015)

This was just the victory lap after the success of the first. One more round.

She Came from the Woods dir. Erik Bloomquist (2022)

I see these smaller horror movies release to theaters every now and then. It fills a genre niche between larger mass audience stuff, but this particular was just a little undercooked. The Fear Street trilogy did it better.

Magic Mike’s Last Dance dir. Steven Soderbergh (2023)

Sad to say, even the expected big dance number at the end doesn’t save it.

Knock at the Cabin dir. M. Night Shyamalan (2023)

I kept feeling bad for Shyamalan. The weight of expectation for him must be immense. But I came in with that expectation of something that would surprise me and this movie does not deliver on that front.

Sword Art Online the Movie -Progressive- Scherzo of Deep Night dir. Ayako Kono (2023)

Holy shit! Anime movies is another random thing to pop up in theaters and sometimes they’re a bit too convoluted or reliant on their main series to explain things, but the premise of “we’re stuck in a video game and need to fight a boss” really makes this work. Loved that final boss battle.

Consecration dir. Christopher Smith (2023)

Another quaint sort of slow burn horror release that doesn’t get to theaters as often these days. It doesn’t stick but it was interesting to watch.

Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey dir. Rhys Waterfield (2023)

Great effects and staging, awful otherwise. One of those that might please those who are in it for the gore.

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania dir. Peyton Reed (2023)

Jonathan Majors, that is all.

Johnny Mnemonic dir. Robert Longo (1995)

It was cool 90s cyberpunk but did you know there’s a black & white take on it?!

Virtuosity dir. Brett Leonard (1995)

Kind of a dystopian sci-fi take on Se7en.

Jesus Revolution dir. Jon Erwin & Brent McCorkle (2023)

I was real afraid that this would be a pro-Christianity all the time kinda movie, but there’s enough nuance there in depicting real people that I think it’s worth watching as a historical snapshot.

Cocaine Bear dir. Elizabeth Banks (2023)

Absolutely yes, let’s fuckin’ go. This is made to be seen in a theater.

Gattaca dir. Andrew Niccol (1997)

More somber and lowkey than I expected. It felt like a high budget episode of The Twilight Zone.

Strange Days dir. Kathryn Bigelow (1995)

Another whoof for rich white people trying to translate the experiences of real socioeconomic and racial problems in Los Angeles of the 90s (and today). But fun in a nostalgic “look what they thought the future would be” kinda way.

Kissed dir. Lynne Stopkewich (1996)

Molly Parker makes anything she’s in worth watching, even necrophilia.

Richard III dir. Richard Loncraine (1995)

Catching up on more Shakespeare that I’ve missed over the years. This one’s a real good way to translate this old timey kingdom stuff.

Eye for an Eye dir. John Schlesinger (1996)

Guh, I really thought there might be some attempt to comment on the perils of seeking revenge, but nope, let’s just fucking murder assholes who do wrong against us.

The Outer Limits – Seasons 4-6 (1998-2000)

So much Outer Limits, it’s hard to encapsulate as I approach the end of it. All I’ll say is that “Down to Earth” from season 6 has me tearing up because most of it is a satire about weirdo X-Files fans but then the main character’s motivation to just connect with someone, anyone who will believe her and allow her to express her loss and just listen makes the ending so tragic and gah this is absolutely in my list of TV that will shape who I am as a person.

New Fiction 2023 – January

“Psalms” (1-100) ed. Richard Challoner (1752)

Okay so this is where priests pull all the one-liners that they drop during sermons.

“The Husband Stitch” by Carmen Maria Machado (2017)

Can’t let it go despite the peril.

“Inventory” by Carmen Maria Machado (2017)

When in doubt, a list.

“Mothers” by Carmen Maria Machado (2017)

Penitent daughters of singular mothers.

“Especially Heinous” by Carmen Maria Machado (2017)

You learn sooner or later that they were always dead girls.

“Real Women Have Bodies” by Carmen Maria Machado (2017)

They’ll always find you.

“Eight Bites” by Carmen Maria Machado (2017)

When left with little recourse, it’s only natural to sing the song.

“The Resident” by Carmen Maria Machado (2017)

Make things around people? No, thank you.

“Difficult At Parties” by Carmen Maria Machado (2017)

The party parable rings universal.

“The First Peer” by Dayton Ward and Kevin Dilmore (2010)

The things we do when we failed to realize we’re not at fault.

“Reservoir Ferengi” by David McIntee (2010)

Can’t make a song bird do your taxes.

“The Slow Knife” by James Swallow (2010)

The only reasonable conclusion to plotting.

“The Unhappy Ones” by Keith R.A. DeCandido (2010)

Carving out the place you’re due from bone.

“Freedom Angst” by Britta Burdett Dennison (2010)

You can play the part, but when will you live it?

“Revenant” by Marc D. Giller (2010)

Once more: Star Trek is primed for horror.

“Work Is Hard” by Greg Cox (2010)

Achieving a satisfactory life.

“The Briefcase” by Rebecca Makkai, performed by Victor Garber for NPR’s Selected Shorts (2009, 2023)

The skin is loose but if it fits…

“Paradise” by Yxta Maya Murray, performed by Tanis Parenteau for NPR’s Selected Shorts (2020, 2023)

Limited options means limited solutions.

Honor in the Night by Scott Pearson (2010)

That’s the stuff. A cross-generational Star Trek mystery is just my game.

Trapped in Bat Wing Hall by R.L. Stine (1995)

Goosebumps books are simply a delight.

A Midsummer Night’s Dream by William Shakespeare, presented by Rice University Department of Visual and Dramatic Arts (1595, 2013)

Hey, this Shakespeare guy was pretty funny.

“Comet as Paperboy” by Samantha Blysse Haviland (2022)

Forever waiting.

“The Art of Negotiation” by Meghan Privitello (2016)

We’re still waiting.

“Forest Spirits” by Secondlina (2022)

Give them space.

“Forest Spirits 2” by Secondlina (2022)

Gotta have a Joe.

“With Sympathy” by Oglaf Comics (2017)

You can have it.

“it went like this” by chaumas-deactivated20230115 (2023)

Power of the belly.

Simpsons Comics Colossal Compendium – Volume One (2013)

Just when I think I’m out, they pull me back in.

“Full Void Demo” dev. OutOfTheBit (2023)

Oh this is great. I’ve been in the mood to play a game just like this. 2D movement, careful and considered locomotion, single screen puzzles with no frustrating resets to far back in the level when a player dies. It looks and sounds amazing, and I love the environment design.

Thunderbirds dev. Saffire (2004)

I worked on this nearly twenty years ago but somehow wasn’t sure that I’d actually completed the game. Now I know.

“bugs” dir. k. pakiz (2023)

Of course there’s hats.

“enter initials” dir. k. pakiz (2023)

Three letters, no supervision.

Avatar: The Way of Water dir. James Cameron (2022)

Looks pretty, stops short.

Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance with Somebody dir. Kasi Lemmons (2022)

A respectful consideration.

Thunderbirds dir. Jonathan Frakes (2004)

I wasn’t sure about the game, but I know I hadn’t watched this movie. Something in the wake of the Spy Kids era.

M3GAN dir. Gerard Johnstone (2023)

It builds up but doesn’t quite land. Not sure what I expected, but it seems to have done well so they’ll get another shot.

Corsage dir. Marie Kreutzer (2022)

Just follow a person for a while and listen.

Broker dir. Hirokazu Kore-eda (2022)

There’s no conscious family.

Skinamarink dir. Kyle Edward Ball (2022)

You had me without the jumpscares.

Plane dir. Jean-François Richet (2023)

Plane goes down, plane goes up.

Missing dir. Will Merrick & Nick Johnson (2023)

They ratchet up the melodrama.

That Time I Got Reincarnated As a Slime the Movie: Scarlet Bond dir. Yasuhito Kikuchi (2023)

As lost in the weeds as expected.

A Man Called Otto dir. Marc Forster (2023)

I mean, so would I.

Puss In Boots: The Last Wish dir. Joel Crawford (2022)

This many characters done so well. An impressive story.

Women Talking dir. Sarah Polley (2022)

Stageplay tragedies.

Thunderbirds – “Trapped In The Sky” (1965)

An impressive VFX showcase.

Tales from the Crypt – “The Man Who Was Death” (1989)

This is supposed to be the best the series has to offer? (But I’m here for the cheese anyway.)

The Outer Limits – Seasons 1-3 (1995-1997)

Speaking of cheese, this is perfect 90s sci-fi, and a fine example of Canada’s dominance of 90s TV production.