maybe introspection is a scam
When a boy…discovers that he is more given into introspection and consciousness of self than other boys his age, he easily falls into the error of believing it is because he is more mature than they. This was certainly a mistake in my case. Rather, it was because the other boys had no such need of understanding themselves as I had: they could be their natural selves, whereas I was to play a part, a fact that would require considerable understanding and study. So it was not my maturity but my sense of uneasiness, my uncertainty that was forcing me to gain control over my consciousness. Because such consciousness was simply a steppingstone to aberration and my present thinking was nothing but uncertain and haphazard guesswork.
- Mishima, Yukio. Confessions of a Mask
In a way, if this is true, happiness should consist of an ever decreasing attention to oneself. Rather than self-care! The less you know about who you are and what you want, the better off you are. That which I’ve always wished for Rocco, in the many years of our friendship, was an ounce more of unawareness.
– Emanuele Trevi, Two Lives