In love or out of, here is how you must proceed.
Meet the most wonderful man in the world: a giver, a taker, a rich man with a poor man’s sensibilities, a lover of variety, an expert in sexplay, a sailor gone investor, a boy from an island who moved to the city, a laugher like no other, the kindest of gentleman, the worldliest of story-tellers. Meet him, and make him want you, and then, when he is sufficiently in the depths of you, leave him stranded in the ocean of all that good-natured loving. He isn’t enough and then, later, too much.
Find yourself alone, briefly, but get out of the dumps. The world is full of others. Date, deal with the polite ones, rude ones, outright creepy ones who leave twenty messages over the course of three days. You’ll wonder what’s happening, or if any of it is worth it. Invest in yourself, attend museum soirees, poetry readings, wine tastings. Take in culture, both the high kind and then the real kind, in the ghettos, in the slums, in the average suburbs too much like your own to be worthy of attention. Realize that your twenties have ended and realize you’re someone else. Look at yourself in the mirror, before the make-up, and say, “hello.” Feel good about where you are, so good that you leave that career, that man, that program, that city. Pick a place on the map that is not where you wanted to go.
Wander along a street and feel the eyes of a group of young men track you in civilly subdued desire. The neighborhood is different, the people used to buildings shorter than the trees. Walk forward and make a left turn on the Main St., keep walking to the iron bars, and when you hear the music, walk toward it. Continue along, your shoes will step on sticky substances, and then find the door marked as: 21 AND OLDER. Enter inside and listen to The Eagles on the jukebox.
Approach the bar and ask for a Coors, or something, I can’t quite tell from here. Glance around and look at the empty space, the bare wooden floor. Glance at me. Turn away and then give me a few minutes to build up the courage to approach you and tell you I’ve been waiting for you for a long time.
You take it from here.