infantilevice:

You are not prepared for this celebrity reveal!

Bright lights and pageantry.

Red carpet fashion.

Giant snail that could consume a human being.

A hat on its shell instead of its head.

Crowds screaming “take it off” and the implicit threat if it does not comply.

Trepanation it suffered in service of its art.

Large men who would beat you to death for getting too close to the snail.

Slow realization that there’s something inside the shell.

Notion of a body being inside.

A small green hand, then another.

Confusion and consternation.

It’s Kermit.

He’s sitting in the innards.

Horrible screams.

Cut after cut after cut after cut.

Madness.