my favorite thing about the mystery genre is that we all accept the concept of “world famous detective” without hesitation even though that is absolutely not a real category of celebrity
Whenever I see someone refer to “Victorian era-” for places outside the UK I’m tempted to start saying shit like “Han Dynasty era Rome”, “Soviet era Australia” etc
“Welcome to Soviet America, home of the McDonalds and Cocaine Cola. Long live Comrade Reagan.”
The Civil War, or as I like to call it, Late Tokugawa Period America
I know this is a joke but this helps me put a lot of historical periods into perspective.
“cowboys were a sort of itinerant warrior class common in meiji-era texas”
The other thing I have realized in my efforts today is that not only do Dracula and Mina have similar tastes in women, and men, they seem to have similar tastes in everything. Architecture. Trains. Everything. It’s uncanny
Mina, languishing:
Mina has a seething hatred of Dracula for the absolute pettiest of reasons but she is being So Brave About It but then she reads the diary and is like OH THANK GOD we have to kill him.
This is definitely because of Lucy’s murder and Jonathan’s imprisonment and not because he bought the last model train set she was eyeing for her collection. Definitely.
Mina, firing new holes in Dracula: This is for Jonathan! –bang– This is for Lucy! –bang– And this is for the limited edition single run gold-trim Central Pacific ‘Jupiter’ UP No. 119 – American Type model!
Dracula, spitting blood: It rolls so smooth on the tracks. Not that you’d know.
Mina, eyes blazing, barrel to his head: Play with it in Hell. –bang–
Bugs Bunny could have simply walked into Mordor. He would have shown up at the gates of Mordor in a disguise and been like “Evil volcano inspection unit” and flashed a fake ID badge to the confused orc.
Love the implication here that the one ring would have little to no effect on Bugs
To be fair, it’s canonically established in Lord of the Rings that Tom Bombadil, an inexplicable magical trickster, is unaffected by the ring, and the only reason they don’t give the job to him is because Tom Bombadil is a silly little man who’s easily distracted and just wants to spend time with his hot wife.
Bugs Bunny, on the other hand, loves nothing more than fucking over self-important dickheads, and is also an inexplicable magical trickster, so he would in fact be perfect for this mission.
The One Ring may not tempt Bugs, but he’d have other problems with the mission: he’d get lost halfway there (”I knew I should’ve made a left turn at Albuquerque”) and get distracted enough to hand the One RIng to Elmer Fudd or Yosemite Sam as a prank, only for it to be stolen by Daffy Duck, leading to an ever-increasing number of characters on an increasingly-destructive chase across Middle Earth as everyone keeps stealing it from each other, (Bugs would definitely pull the “evil volcano inspector” gag to get into Mordor, and he’d then immediately turn around and pose as a customs agent stopping whoever currently has the ring at the border and relieving them of it as “contraband”) culminating in an all-out brawl at Mount Doom. Bugs manages to reclaim the ring one last time as everyone else is busy fighting each other, only for Daffy to come out of nowhere and grab it out of his hands. Laughing maniacally, Daffy doesn’t realize that his victory dance has taken him right off the edge off a cliff – until Bugs points it out, at which point gravity reasserts itself, and Daffy and the ring both plunge to the fiery depths below
Daffy would just be crawling out of the volcano, feathers completely gone and he’s brunt to a crisp while Bugs is eating a carrot and just says:
