You tell yourself it’s irrational. Behave acceptably, you know. But the thoughts float around.
Am I insincere?
Do I have BPD?
Am I a sociopath?
Which you’re not, hell no. But there’s certainly a fear that runs through you and chains you to the some place behind you, far enough away that no one can even see it. It keeps you slogging through the conversations and decisions that are meant to propel you forward.
You’re a normal, scared person. You’re stepping away from this already. Just don’t let anybody know and post it.
